| While in the bathtub, he thought that he had to flatulate, but defecated instead. His mother had berated him mercilessly. |
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| Mum is going to join the Greens instead. Dad says at least they are all so busy knitting yoghurt they do not have time for sexual scandal. |
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| I told him not to bring me flowers, so he brought a bunch of carrots instead. It was lame but it made me smile. |
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| So we became friends instead. And I think that's great. Better in fact. If we had've done anything relationshippy together I probably would've freaked out. |
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