“Using his bar mitzvah cash at the tender age of 13, the lankily hip youngster bought himself a turntable and mixer.”

“It then stood up and lankily walked off, disappearing behind trees and then reappearing again before finally disappearing for good.”

“He was the only foreign player in an otherwise all-British squad that evening and, emerging lankily from the tunnel, he looked less like a footballer than a startled foal.”